Why can't I say 'no'?
You never thought saying ‘no’ would be so difficult. As a child and teen, you saw adults around you stressed out and yelling because there was never enough time and they were always on edge. You swore you wouldn’t do the same and now you’re noticing that you feel overwhelmed. Your heart races, you have trouble sleeping, and your greatest skill is overthinking. You worry about how others perceive you and hurry to make yourself valuable to others. You smile and add more to your to-do list, but internally you're struggling; it feels like you can’t catch your breath.
Services
It Wasn’t Supposed to Be Like This
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You imagined that you would be the person who could do it all, but with balance: the person who could be a great parent and still have time for yourself; the person who climbed the corporate ladder and still had time for fun and friends; the one who got good grades and was still laughing. Instead, you find yourself overworked with no time for joy. Your brain is constantly anticipating the worst-case scenario, and it leaves you exhausted. You problem-solve things that have not yet happened and replay conversations and re-read emails to make sure you've said the right thing. It is difficult to breathe or relax. You have noticed that your relationships have been impacted and you are struggling to find balance.
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Most of my clients experiencing anxiety are struggling to see their own value, use boundaries, and listen to their body's signals.​
Therapy may be for you if:
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Your body feels jittery and/or your heart is racing.
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You overthink.
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Your self-worth is being impacted by your need to please others.
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Memories from childhood are coming up and cause distress in your brain and body.
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You don't find joy in things you used to love, or feel you don't have time for them anymore.
My goal for my clients is to help them work through the things causing them to feel anxious and overwhelmed so they can live the life they desire. Therapy with me is:
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Not having someone tell you to get over it.
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Allowing, and encouraging, mistakes- try it out in session where it feels safe to do so!
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Being able to go at your pace, sharing what you want, when you want.
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Permission to be vulnerable and to talk about the things that scare you.
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Sometimes bad jokes and laughter!
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In our initial session, we’ll review the consent and confidentiality forms that you filled out, and I’ll answer any questions that you have. We’ll get a sense of what brings you to therapy and what your goals are. I love working with clients who feel motivated and excited by imagining themselves feeling more confident, less burdened, and finding their joy again. We’ll take as much time as you need to get to know each other to increase a sense of safety so you can get excited about the possibilities therapy can provide with your hard work. Our sessions will be 50 minutes long, unless booked for longer and I recommend booking weekly for the first month if possible, to keep up the momentum you see in session.
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Ready to change how you're feeling? Book a free 15-minute consultation!
EMDR
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is an evidence-based approach that helps reduce the effects of: trauma, PTSD, anxiety, panic, and more. EMDR helps to lessen the emotional intensity of past experiences. It allows the brain to reprocess and desensitize painful memories and integrate them in a healthier way. Through EMDR you can change your relationship with those memories and emotions, so you can enjoy more balance, control, and freedom in your life.
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Trauma-Informed
Trauma-informed care recognizes the many ways that people are affected by trauma. I strive to create an environment of safety through collaborative work with you. I offer choice, encourage the use of "no," and respect cultural, gender, and historical influences. Our focus is on 'what happened to you' rather than 'what is wrong with you' when seeking to understand behaviours and choices that were made. Together we move at a pace comfortable for you, and provide a focus of hope.
Self Compassion
People-pleasers and perfectionists often have strong, critical inner voices. The work of softening that voice and providing care and kindness in its place can provide deep healing and reduce symptoms of anxiety. It also helps to ease the pressures we put on ourselves. Self-compassion has been extensively researched and its benefits include increased confidence and a reduction of the impacts of anxiety and depression. Self-compassion allows us to be motivated with love rather than fear.
Attachment
Attachment theory (Bowlby) recognizes the crucial impact parents and caregivers have on our nervous system and how those early relationships impact us throughout the lifespan. Those early influences shape how we see the world, where and when we feel safe, and motivate our behaviours and emotions. While we gently explore the past together, we build new templates of what a positive relationship looks like and learn skills to improve communication, increase distress tolerance, and find a new sense of confidence.
For more information on any of these services, please contact me.